Does anyone else have those parenting moments when you feel like you have failed your child? This is not me talking about the time my daughter was sliding down the pole at the church playground singing Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball (and yes that did happen). I mean like emotionally failing them? Are you showing them enough love and support and showing it in the right kind of way? I feel like I am struggling with this with my son, he is an extremely emotional child and daily it’s a battle with what way to approach him about anything. Often, nothing seems to work.
We call our son Charlie Brown all the time because some days it seems like nothing goes his way. He is an amazingly gifted, smart, sweet and sensitive little boy who thinks any good day is the “BEST DAY EVER!” However, on the flip side, he is immature, stubborn, bossy and uncoordinated which makes for a lethal combination. I can’t even count in the 6 years he has been in school how many times he’s walked out with tears starting up in his eyes telling me that it was the worst day of his life. It breaks my heart. As a parent we just want to protect our kids from anything that is upsetting them, but the worst part is when he describes the day and it turns out his behaviors were what instigated the bad day to begin with. How do you parent to that? How do you tell your child he was the cause of “the worst day ever” without breaking his spirit?
I read this beautiful blog by Becky Mansfield on how to discipline a sensitive child and it got me thinking about ways to change my techniques and communication skills with him. I think some of the issue is that a lot of us were raised by parents that yell, that’s how you communicated with your children and so, instinctively, we yell as well. I think we need to work on not using our impulses so quickly, taking the moment and thinking about how that yelling isn’t going to help the situation. The irony is that impulsiveness is the main issue with his behavior and what he is constantly being corrected for. So what will work?
We are partnering with his teacher and pediatrician in order to have some support because we are at a loss and don’t want this to be something that falls through the cracks. My husband always talks about how he remembers how intense 4th grade was for him and we want to make sure that our son feels supported and ready in 3rd grade to make that leap next year. I just want to make sure that as a parent I am being the right amount of supportive, the right amount of tough, the right amount of soft and loving and give him that drive to succeed himself when he will have to without us. So how do we do it? Mom’s of the world any advice?
Thanks for listening!